Today I was a coward. I had to park my car blocks from my house due to the Earth Day celebration in Balboa Park. As I was walking to my house I saw a large crow across the street from me. I've always been afraid of birds, something about them has always terrified me. Over the last year I have been working hard to get over my fear, I've even held one!
But today was different, I just didn't want to cross the street to be near the crow. Suddenly there was a commotion with the crow. I saw the crow grab a baby dove and start attacking the poor creature. I stood there scared, terrified, and feeling helpless; all the while I was shouting in my head, "Faith run towards the crow and shew it away. Save that dove!"
I couldn't do it. I was frozen. Eventually the poor dove fell to it's death, so I thought. And the crow began to fly away. I couldn't believe it, the crow simply wanted to kill this baby dove, he didn't want to eat this baby dove. He just wanted to destroy it's precious life.
Then suddenly as if a miracle had happened, the baby dove perched up and started to scurry away from the scene. It had played dead to escape the evil clutches of the crow. As the crow was flying off, it turned back to notice the baby dove and just like that, swooped down and attacked the bird. I heard the poor bird cry until it was dead. It laid motionless on the street, with me just staring at the massacre, doing nothing.
I feel so ashamed of myself today. Why didn't I show more courage and save that beautiful and innocent dove? How could I let fear paralyze me? I feel just terrible. For someone who deeply loves animals, to be a witness of one suffering and dying and me doing NOTHING to stop it, I just feel like a huge failure.
I cried for hours and now I'm having such a hard time going to sleep. I keep seeing the crow attacking the dove and I can hear the dove crying for life. Tomorrow me and David are going to cut roses from our garden and lay them next to the dove. I wish I had saved that sweet and gentle bird. I, at the very least, want some universal being to know that I valued that dove's life and I will use this as a lesson to act to protect the weak, no matter how scared I am.
You consistently feel empathy, not apathy, for ALL living beings, a trait few people are ever fortunate enough to acquire. You're honoring this animal's memory, with a ceremony no less, and are using this experience to "protect the weak, no matter how scared" you are in the future. I've witnessed you going out of your way to help the helpless, one instance of not "interceding" shouldn't, and doesn't, mar your character.
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